


You're my sanity

by theboywhocried (foryaoi)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups-centric, Coups best boy, Coups best leader!!!!, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Platonic jihancheol just because, Self-Indulgent, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23885431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foryaoi/pseuds/theboywhocried
Summary: Everything's in line but Seungcheol seems bruised.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 125





	You're my sanity

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary from demi lovato's nightingale :)
> 
> also its been a long time since I wrote something so I apologize,,, this is like a piece after my hiatus hehe

Despite of Fear being a great success, Seungcheol can’t help but _worry_. Anxiety creeping into his core. There’s so much to think about despite of their achievements, given their schedule’s still pretty much jam-packed: from non-stop tours to various year end awards and he’s just _tired_ tired. He wants— _no_ , scratch that. _He needs rest_. He demands rest.

_But aren’t you selfish enough? Only thinking of yourself when in fact, everyone’s as tired as you? Jihoon’s been working nonstop at the studio, Soonyoung’s barely sleeping either. Chan has been working his hardest too. How about you, Seungcheol, what are you—_

_Screams_. He screams loud enough, startling both Soonyoung and Chan who stayed in the practice room after rehearsals.

“Hyung?”

 _I’m doing my best, I swear I am_. He whispers repeatedly, eyes shut tightly.

“Hyung… are you okay?” Soonyoung asks, slowly reaching for Seungcheol right before the latter backs away immediately, back hitting the cold wall with a sound.

_I’m doing my best, I swear I am_. He continues, pulling his knees tightly against his chest as tears start to fall rapidly from his eyes. _I’m doing my best._

Alarmed at his state, Soonyoung backed up immediately. “Chan, get the hyungs.” He says, gaze still fixed on the elder in front of him.

“W-what’s happening?” Chan asks worriedly. “Is… Cheol hyung okay?”

“I said get the hyungs. _Now_.” He demands before crouching down to be at level with Seungcheol, who pulls his knees tighter against his chest.

Without further questions, Chan sprints away. 

—

“Is everything okay? Chan looks like he’s…. about to cry. “Jeonghan says, the last three words sounding small. “ _Cheol?_ ”

Soonyoung stands up upon hearing Jeonghan’s voice echo before quietly approaching him. “Hyung has been in this state for the last 5 minutes—”

“I think he’s having a panic attack.” Joshua interrupts, immediately situating himself in front of Seungcheol with a short distance. 

“Soonie, go and check Chan. Tell him not to worry.” Jeonghan says before giving Soonyoung’s hand a light squeeze, hoping it would give the younger some assurance. 

Soonyoung nods at that with a small smile, eyeing the eldest for a second then back at Jeonghan. "I'll let him know you got this."

As soon as Soonyoung exits, Jeonghan takes the space beside Joshua, biting his bottom lip before calling the fragile frame once again. "Cheol?"

"It seems like his mind's still clouded. I don't think he can hear us." Joshua says, voice unsteady.

But Jeonghan was persistent so he tried again. "....Cheollie?"

" _I'm doing my best_." Seungcheol mumbles, his voice muffled from crying, fingers curling into a fist. " _I swear I am_."

Seungcheol's tone was _so_ small that they could have missed it if they weren't paying attention. 

  
  


All so suddenly, Joshua remembers this bulleted form article about panic attacks he stumbled upon one time: 

  * _Create a warm, calming environment._



Check. 

  * _Match their support to their preferences and attachment styles._



Seungcheol has always been the clingy type. So without thinking twice, Joshua leads, speaking ever so softly. "Yes you are, baby. We know you are."

"I'm not… I'm…" Seungcheol lets out a strangle sob, unable to finish, digging his nails deeply into his flesh as if wanting his palm to bleed right there.

  * _Don't rush._



"It's okay, baby. It's okay. Take your time. No one's in a hurry. It's okay. I'm here. Hannie's here. We'll wait for you." Joshua comforts before turning to Jeonghan mouthing ' _I think he’s kinda back into his senses'._

Jeonghan nods before finally talking, voice cracking as he notices how the latter digs his nails into his skin. "Babe, don't hurt yourself. You have us. Hold us instead. Please. We're here."

Seungcheol uncurls his fingers slowly, letting his fingertips slide past his legs but stays on the same fetal position.

_Don't you ever feel guilty, Seungcheol? They're literally waiting for you. You can hear the tiredness from their voices. They could have reached the dorm if you weren't—_

" _Stopstopstopstop._ " Seungcheol pleads, hands clutching hair as if it's an automated movement, pulling his hair strands roughly. "Please, _stop_."

"C-cheol?" Jeonghan calls his name frantically, eyes widening before turning back to Joshua. 

" _Enough!_ " Seungcheol screams, shutting his eyes tighter. "Enough, _please_."

  
  


It was starting to be too much. _This isn't a calm environment anymore._

  
  


" _Seungcheol_." Joshua says firmly, cupping the eldest' face in his palms. "Listen to me. Open your eyes, baby. Open them and look at me."

And with that, as if on queue, Seungcheol's eyes flew open. Brightness hitting his eyes, almost blinding. 

"Breathe. I got you. It's okay, _you're okay_."

—

Soon enough, Seungcheol came back to his senses; body tightly trapped with Jeonghan's arm, his face buried into Joshua's neck, inhaling the younger’s scent. 

"I'm sorry for causing trouble. It wasn't bound to happen. The thoughts—" 

"Choi Seungcheol, enough with the talking. It's 3 in the morning." 

"I just can't help but feel bad, you know. You're both tired and—" 

" _So are you_." Jeonghan says, cutting him off, propping on his elbow to look at Seungcheol's face (although it's buried anyways). "Being a leader takes a lot of work, babe. You always put the members first, literally letting the world know we're more important than the company. Always making sure we're being treated well. Always watching us. Always rooting for us. Always know how and when to cheer the carats. Isn't that tiring?"

"Because that's what leaders do."

"Exactly why you're the leader, baby." Joshua chimes in before pressing a kiss on Seungcheol's forehead. "A leader is the one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. You're too selfless, Choi Seungcheol."

"Too selfless to the point you forgot to check on yourself." Jeonghan sighs, "Give yourself some time too, alright?"

Seungcheol buries his face deeper into Joshua's neck, tears attempting to slip once again. "Stop, you two are gonna make me cry again and my eyes are tired."

"Ah, honestly Cheollie, what would you do without me and Joshuji—"

"Aish, I told you to stop calling me that!" 

Seungcheol sighs as the two rabbits bicker on top of him. As long as he both have Jeonghan and Joshua, he’s _definitely_ all good.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be cheolsoo tbh but I miss 95z so there we have it :) 
> 
> ++ comments and kudos are highly appreciated <3


End file.
